On the edge of taking on a new position

I am a greedy person. I admit that. Not only greedy, i am also ambitious but impatient. I wanna know everything and perform well at every fields just to prove that i am a brilliant individual in this massive planet. However, i feel exhausted when i have to prove myself so hard so that i could not fail my expectation and illusion about myself in front of people. I was so stressed that in all jobs (not so many jobs), i would think through about every issues arising at work even after going home. In every task, i would feel pity if i couldn’t take part in every process because i know i could create better results than people. Yeah, i am overconfident about myself.

Nevertheless, i wanna try hitting a change, even if it is just temporary. I will set aside all skills relating to aesthetic sense and focus on a new position - by being just a dreamy girl who write English blogs. I am not sure if this is a right choice but i wanna take a break now. This job provides me with good offerings, and experiences in global market. I still have much time to pursue my dream, which is a creative officer working in a global enterprise with satisfactory salary and working environment. I jot down these thoughts to comfort myself out of insecurity, and unnecessary concern that prevent me from enjoying a new life. I want to affirm with myself that i am just not confident enough to be a leader or a planner who take on and command team in all processes. My relentless worry is a proof for this. I need more experiences to build my inner confidence so that one day i could totally believe in myself and lead a life and a job without scare and too much effort to prove myself. On that day, i am the proof, my present is the proof, people will give me admiration and respect. All i will need to do is just blooming like a flower. However, before becoming a flower, it takes times for me to grow from a seed! I trust my gut this time!